Danny Dyer is a bit of a Bogey at Barnham Broom


Danny Dyer is staying at Barnham Broom Golf Club on his break away from EastEnders.

There are reports that Danny Dyer is having a bit of a meltdown due to the long working hours ‘acting’ as Mick Carter in the depressing soap opera, even though all the other actors seem to be able to do it.

Show producers apparently are going to write his character out for a few weeks to give Dyer, real name Malcolm Montygoose Smith, a rest.

Danny also had a dip in the lake.

Danny has been seen at Barnham Broom hotel. With its hotel, spa and golf complex it would be an ideal place to have a well earned rest.

Although it doesn’t sound like he’s having a rest as he has been arguing with some of the regular customers.

Gerald Forrest, a golf course regular, said that he had an altercation with Dyer while playing a round of golf. Mr Forrest said, “There was a man on the third hole taking a long time to play so I approached him to move him on as he was holding up play. I asked him what the matter was and he said that he had lost his Rosie Lee.”

A confused Gerald then explained, “I guessed that Rosie Lee must be his golfing partner. I told him that he would have to move out the way and let me past.”

Dyer then apparently got angry and told Mr Forrest that he didn’t like his boat race.

An even more confused Gerald stated, “I’ve watched some boat racing on television but I’ve never organised such a thing!”

Dyer tried golf but it didn’t go well.

Squash player, Sterling Seaton, wasn’t sure if he was verbally insulted by Dyer. Sterling had asked the EastEnders’s Star to be quiet as he was trying to enjoy a light refreshment.

Danny told him that he was going to put his fingers in his mince pies and that the top Mr Seaton was wearing showed off his Bristols.

Sterling told us that he wasn’t sure what was being said, “It was like he had something wrong with him and was talking gibberish!”

As Danny left the bar area, he insulted¬†Benedict Lawson. Mr Lawson cried, “I’ve never been so insulted in my life! That man said that it looked like I’ve got a Morris Minor!” Benedict insisted, “I do not own a Morris Minor, I own a Jaguar XJ 3.0 Turbocharged!”

Danny has seen a few bogeys on his first few days of his break, hopefully he will be get back on par.



Since this article has been written, we have asked a cockney to translate some of Danny’s language.

Rosie Lee – Tea (or as Danny used the slang, tee, as in a golf tee)

Boat race – Face

Mince Pies – Eyes

Bristols – Bristol Cities – Titties – Breasts

Morris Minor – Vagina



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