Cinema in Dereham to Install Toilet in Screening Room so Customers Don’t Miss the Film

Business, News
A cinema chain in Dereham are planning to install a toilet cubicle in one of their screening rooms. It will be the first in the country to trial this new idea.

This means that customers will be able to relieve themselves without having to miss any of the movie. It will be located at the back of the auditorium and will be fitted with a one-way glass window to protect the users privacy.

Cinema manager James Riddle commented, “Everybody hates needing the toilet when you’re watching a film. You could possibly miss a vital part and not know what is going on. You unfortunately can’t press pause in a cinema.”

He also added, “It will be a wee only toilet due to the possible bad odour that could occur if someone drops a load. Doing a poo could also create considerable noise disturbance. There may be a quiet, suspenseful scene during the film, you don’t want it ruined by a massive rip from someone’s spraying arse.”

Artists impression of how the cubicle will look.

Due to the toilet facing towards the screen, men will have to treat themselves to a sit down wee to view the film. This will also ensure Percy points at the porcelain and not at the seat. There will be hand washing facilities in the cubicle. This is good news as you don’t want someone’s pissy fingers in your popcorn.

There is a catch though, it won’t be free. If you want to have access to the toilet you will have to pay an extra charge on top of your ticket. You’ll be given a PissPass, this will work like a key card for a hotel room. The pass will give you one entry to the toilet.

There will also be plans put into place so that the toilet doesn’t turn into a meet up point for lewd activities during late night showings. The cinema has enough split drink to clear up so other discarded fluid will not be welcomed.

Another artist’s impression, this is the view of the film you will have whilst emptying your bladder.

What do you think about this new idea? Would you go to the toilet during a film? Could you clench hard enough to stop an aggressive poo triggered by releasing a wee?

 

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