Catch a Canine Crapper at Cromer for Cash

News, Strange

North Norfolk District Council is offering a £50 reward to members of the public who capture a dog owner not picking up their dog’s mess on Cromer Pier.

There has been a substantial increase in the number of dog turds being left on the pier. It is now becoming a health risk for visitors and an eyesore for the thousands of daily amateur photographers.

Artist’s impression of Cromer ‘Poo’ Pier.

Mr and Mrs Bone have recently had a bad experience on the pier concerning the dog mess. Mr Bone explained, “I bought the wife a Snickers, she dropped it while on the pier and accidentally picked up a dog log instead of the chocolate!”

Kenneth Fur, a local amateur photographer, is very annoyed with the irresponsible dog owners, “All I want to do is go to the pier everyday, take the same photos and then upload them to Facebook. But I can’t take any photos on the pier because of the amount of excrement, it’s like a minefield!”

David Barker, a Cromer resident, is disgusted, “I’ve seen some crap at Great Yarmouth pier but didn’t expect to see a load of shit here at Cromer! Some of the turds are so big it’s like Falcor from The Neverending Story flew over and carpet bombed the place!”

Falcor approaching his target ready to off-load.

If you see a dog fouling the pier and the owner not clearing it up, North Norfolk District Council have given instructions on how to report and claim your reward.

  1. Take a photo or video of the dog fouling in progress. Make sure you get a clear image of the owner and the dog.
  2. Do not be too obvious as the dog may get embarrassed and cut it off mid-flow by performing an anxious pinch. You may not be able to capture the curl out.
  3. Once the culprit has exited the area take another photo of the mess.
  4. If the mess is of a solid state, try and poke through the gaps into the sea.
  5. Email the photographic evidence to poo-patrol@north-norfolk.gov.uk

 

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